IT'S DECORATIVE GOURD SEASON, M#%&$*F*#@*%S

Happy Autumnal Equinox!

I don't know about you, but I can't wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit is going to look so seasonal. I'm about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. When my guests come over it's gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. Guess what season it is—fucking fall. There's a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant fucking squash.

LINK (Via: McSweeney's)

Comments

[sinsin]

having a few anger issues are we?

[tg]

THIS IS AWESOME!

[kick ass]

love it. right up there with throw pillows as my pet peeves

[ray]

Haha. .. I picked some wild gourds that grow near a creek the other day while fishing. Now I feel like a dork.

[fisherman]

Fuck it, I'm going to carve an asian carp out of a pumpkin and shoot at it

[Horatio]

one of my all time faves from McSweenys. Didn't know you guys had that literature mind on ya.

[Micah]

I'm going NUTs this year. I want so many pumpkins on my front steps that the mailman trips up when trying to get the mail in the box while sprinting from my dog. It's going to be like Martha herself was here and had too much to drink again.

[KJC]

amen, chum.